My marriage, a disappointing beginning of a new phase of life


The honeymoon period seems to have ended much earlier that I intended it to stretch. I had plans to educate my wife on the careful way and restraint approach that she would require to carry on with me in family and before all.

I remember I told everyone in family and the Khandan that they shouldn't go on looks but the kind of a special being I have selected in her. I termed her 'very impressive and adjusting sounding girl' who has the temperament and comes from a family culture that teaches her to take care of Everyone as an affectionate family member with my cooperation and protection for her mistakes every time.

Her overexcited statements to sound friendly or cheerful, I feel, are being looked upon as acts of a loving, affectionate and deeply respecting individual by our family. I can notice how they welcome her and listen to her with a smile.

But as I believe in looking at near future and the time which is bound to come with our present acts. I know she has deep regret for marrying a person with not so high salary and lost in his own world of self esteem or hollow ego. Perhaps, marrying a richer person who was less understanding and educated or caring could have been tolerable for her.


Though I am quite satisfied with her affection for me and developing of actual love for me so far, but it's her silly acts that agitate me beyond control. I feel very very saddened after shouting like an 'animal' at his prey but she invites it everytime. It actually hasn't affected me too much that she is slow learner in bed. I can understand her struggle in this from her point of view and accept that it's completely my responsibility to train her. And, soon I will. But I can least tolerate becoming an OPEN BOOK for any damn person on earth.

A big satisfaction is that she is winning my mother and sisters' affection but I know once she gets exposed by her own acts or over spokenness, she would make even a joke of her husband besides her.

Her childishly selfish reaction on handing over salary to Mumma showed her hidden self in very poor light to me. She was told before marriage that the extra salary is required to help create comfort in family and she would thus be needed to work. Perhaps, she has taken her as if she would work and earn for herself. I wonder what if, after marriage.

I see her nervousness when she talks 'money' money money if not in words, anymore, but in acts and greedy eyes towards 'luxurious things' in others' possession. I know I am wrong in expecting the same feeling of self-reliance or 'on my guts' to earn or win anything in life is just too much of asking from a person of such personality.

By the end of every argument, I end up feeling exhausted in mind. Especially when I realise I was actually preaching a person 'who simply cannot understand being very narrow-minded. Her hearing impairment is turning a serious concern for me. And, she doesn't know that it can spoil her charm in my eyes forever because of that.



I decided to write to her....a day previous to completing three months of marriage........and here the letter explains the experience.....

Having felt utterly disappointed and shocked with Pratibha, I decided to maintain distance from her. I intend to make our relation 'not so friendly', as over closeness of last three months has made our association a bit too open of a relation to entertain anyone wishing to have a hearty laugh.

Having tried my best to protect her in last three months from becoming a laughing stock in my family, as she is alien to what matters and what doesn't matter to our family members. She has a greediness to have what others have, and fails to realise the importance and value its presence in life. Her lifestyle is of any

I meant what I said. You don't deserve friendly approach in our relation, as it involves sharing many things in privacy. But I have noticed you lack that maturity to retain things to yourself.

It remains a lifetime shock to me that things related to our sexual life have been shared with mother in law and sister threadbare. Had it been anyone he could have dropped you immediately at home and advised you to share as much as you wished to. But it was my mistake that I trusted such a person again and shared many things, thinking she would learn that a husband and wife's talks or habits or acts are not shared in public or among family members too seniors or juniors to him.

I have tried my best so far to sound an irritating person but save you from public mockery in long term. But with the latest act you have shown that you are basically A STUPID, who feels despite being a married person and aged well past 30 her words will not be taken seriously by anyone.

For the first time since Bhaiya's marriage I looked an idiot before Bhabhi and kids, who noticed that this so called 'responsible and mature' person could not properly train his wife how to conduct herself in family. She goes kiddish and turns a joke for all with her silly or credulous behaviour equal to children, even when she is related to someone who is most reserve in family.

What Sharada Bhabhi told you about 'moti wandey hon ge zaroor' was a compliment (though I don't deserve it) that showed how much your husband has been valued before marriage by relatives and why.

You haven't realised your role and basic conduct after officially being associated to me. You have not realised the day you married you are taken seriously and keenly observed for every word and act.

Failing to take up responsibilities at home, has already given you an awkward introduction. But your growing silly acts and statements 'Bhabhi ka angan' , or words like 'Bhukhi', 'ridiculous' or physical ailments like having hearing problem are beginning to create long term problems for you. I don't know about others, they may be lenient towards you for a longer time or accept you with that forever, but that's not possible with me.

Yes, having her in my life is actually a differnt joy. I am trying my best to prepare her for everything and everyone which may otherwise prove quite difficult to handle or deal with otherwise.

I wish to save her for any eventuality in the circumstances at my home, which require a careful approach in one's conduct and utterances. As I have been a reserved fellow in general and quite assertive on certain occasions, my better half requires to guard her conduct for obvious reasons.

I feel sorry to observe but she has to be quite watchful in her utterancs in particular. Her pet word is 'disgusting', she always keeps her mind busy with the thougts of 'air conditioner', car, MONEY, MONEY and more MONEY.

She is yet to learn the maturity what should be or shouldn't be revealed about her husband. Plus, she has a habit of hiding things from me, which I expose bitterly when I feel like. SHe is fearful of Bhabhi and her dangerous politics.

The more she feels 'free' before anyone, the more she tends to commit another blunder to invite criticism or laughter.

Well, she is a late riser. Till date (Sep.9, 2010), what she cooks is barely enough for one person or two for breakfast. She cooks sukhe aloo, manchurian, corns. That's it. She cooks chapati for me in the evening. But on Sundays, I think she cooks Dal, which I don't eat as I never eat Dal while Rajma Chawal are available.

So far this is the reality. I have mentioned this to her once quite strongly. But she says she needs time to take up entire responsibilty for food, as she is 'NEW'.

But I believe partialy i am also guilty, as we sleep around 2.00 or 3.00. But now I am changing that sleeping time, as it gets very exhaustive and sleep for no reason. I ahve to go to computers almost everyday to satisfy me ultimately.