A unforgettable honeymoon

People always say it takes about one or two year to adjust to some extent with your life partner. I always accepted that as a funny remark thinking it may not be applicable to a self-proclaimed stud in relationships like me. I have been proved wrong and foolish for having assumed so.

As my married life started from the request of changing the honeymoon programme, I noticed first stupidity of Pratibha who did not reveal about problem of monthly periods to me. The very day when I had finalised our honeymoon schedule in Kashmir, with the help and obligation of a very senior journalist, I had to cancel it. It was quite embarrassing for me to first ask for its cancellation and then on having joined my office the third day of marriage. I had no option as I could afford to waste my hard-earned offs for no reason by staying back at home.

I faced a lot of remarks. But my wife never realised how embarrassing time I had to face at office among girls and senior journalists and especially the boss.

She refused to make love as she had vowed to first visit the Vaishno Devi shrine and only after that do it properly. I somehow tried my best not to do it fully. It was decided that after visiting the holy shrine we will start our honeymoon from Dharamshala cottage. It's a scenic place and with the monsoon season the surrounding turned pleasand beyond expression. The breeze, the fog, the green cover of the giant mountains around our huge cottage added to the pleasant mood and most awaited phase of life.

But on the very evening we reached the cottage in Dharamshala, she turned out to be a deaf person. She started making all sorts of silly reasons for not beigg able to listen to my words. She feigned being over occupied in thoughts to listen carefully what I was saying. Initially I felt she was not listenly to me purposefully. Later, I felt she couldnot listen. I asked her, she said nothing serious. But all the time she would listen only when I would shout.

There was an incident which proved that I had genuine doubts. A room boy came to ask for the order for dinner. Ours was a small room, barely 10 by 8. There was only one bed and an almirah in it. I was sitting on the bed and she was doing something in the almirah. The roomboy came and he was standing in our middle. She was barely five feet away from me. I called her once, twice and thrice. The last time my voice was a little louder. She turned around and gestured whether I was calling her!! I was shocked so was the room boy who was barely two feet behind her and faced towards me. I was shocked but I smile and let him go.

Then I asked her about the reality. She said there is no truth in her deafness. It was simply some problem 'perhaps' . I believed her foolishly on the pretext that the first thing she would do is to visit a doctor in Delhi on return. She agreed. But my mood had spoiled as I was in full doubt that I had been perhaps ditched by her family.

On the very next morning, we tried to make love. She responded as if I was about to kill her. She feared pain which hadn't yet occurred. It was the pain of pleasure. I was irritated. It continued the whole time during our entire honeymoon. She didn't let me in properly and kept acting fearful of that same pain, perhaps every girl on this planet waits for to begin her married life with.

I decided to enjoy the trip as a pleasant visit instead of love making trip. I turned the nature of our visit to various places like Dharamshala, the Dalai Lama Temple , One nearby Shiva temple, Chamunda Devi temple in Himachal, the Golden Temple in Amritsar and return journey. She was delighted to see that I was taking her to every place safely and without much discomfort, if not with the best possible comforts. I think she had had a dream of travelling by plane to Jammu for Vaishno Devi and travelling by air conditioned private cabs at rest of the places. I took her by local transportaion to let the enjoy the actual feel of local places. I was disappointed to see, she had no charm for that just like I had. She just kept complaing for air conditioner bus or luxury every now and then and I pulled her at times for that.

We returned to Delhi having completed an overall nice honeymoon trip. She looked happy having visited so many places as a surprise from a person of my limited means. She was impressed with my links which she least expected from me. All she knew that only her family could make her trips pleasant. Throughout the honeymoon trip, she kept briefing her mother about our every movement. I didn't object and took it in good spirit. Anyways after about a week, we were finally back to Malka Ganj, our place in Delhi.

To avoid spoiling the moment I somehow tried to forget that I have a suspected deaf person in my life. Any how my worst fears came true, when she once admitted naively in my study room she deserves a compliment for having let her husband know such a big hidden thing so easily! (Arrey dekha kitni smart hun main ...itni badi kaan se na sunne ki baat kaise coney bhi kar di aur chupa bhi li!!).

I was stunned to hear her disclose all this before me so disgustingly boastfully. Little did she realise, she lost my trust forever by betraying me.

Regards

Chaudhary Sandeep Datta

As I complete my first year of anniversary on June 28, 2011.......

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher...and that is a good thing for any man.” : Socrates quotes (Ancient Greek Philosopher, 470 BC-399 BC)

It is quite distressing to notice my wife having turned so much money-minded and over critical of me that I have started losing interest in her presence in my life.

Her over-mouthing, loud-mouthing and ill-mouthing has turned me off. She seems to be building her support group while tarnishing my reputation in my family among my loved ones. She wants me to earn for our future but keeps putting more and more demands for new things. Her sarcastic way of putting her demands or getting things done is only taking her to the end of her married life at least with me.

Pratibha's fascination towards everything new or the attitude of replacing everything older at my home with new are very irritating. She wants to change everything as per her desire.

The most tragic thing is she is going all around stating "Khud kama rahi hoon, khud kha rahin hoon" . Her frequency of cribbing about me or the existing circustances is being noticed by each of my family member. And, she is soon going to be in serious trouble. The kind of positive image she managed to build with my open admiration of her abilities or nature, she has started ruining it all quite fastly.

She is getting tips and using them stupidly in our house. It was shocking to learn how she once told one of my family members that her mother has asked her to keep me, her husband, under her feet!

Pratibha has started throwing tantrums and cribbing. She thinks now everyone loves her so much that she would be supported despite everything.

She knows it very well how she has betrayed me. She is gaining an image of being a 'Be-imaan' girl in my eyes. Her deafness is something that will keep on pushing me away from her. She doesn't understand she is losing her image before me and family with each passing day.

She thinks by getting a child from her married life despite avoiding treatment for deafness and by leaving her job, she acted quite smartly. She doesn't know what's coming her way and that too suddenly.

I wonder how this same woman ran from pillar to post for seeing a doctor for pregnancy checkup but never found any doctor to get herself treated for deafness. I wish she knew this guy knows it all and just observing her every moment of her life.

I had placed her in a position where everyone would like her instead of Rekha bhabhi but Pratibha seems to have resolved to suffer a shocking future full of solitude and hatred.

Her approach of comparing facilities being available to her (within her husband's means) with the kind of facilities being available to her elder sister and friend pooja or cousin is ruining her personal life. She is turning impossible with each passing day and in her expectations.

Be it the demand for car, my new job, more money, comparison with my brother’s luxurious life, irritation from my simple dressing style, hatred from my journalistic career, shift system, wish of removing my painting from drawing room, breaking of my office’ precious gift, consistent demand of opening her juicers or other things, demanding to take charge of my life and bank and all other things—are only making her spoil her personal image or value in my life.

Her leaking of even talks related to our sexual life to her mother showed her level of stupidity to the maximum limit. Recently, on the day of completing our day of engagement she wished me and completed her sentence saying : “Kahin muh mat marna” are some of the examples that have made me lose trust and interest in her.

She is going to burn her married life by own hands.

Keeping her politics, criticism, illogical demands, careless attitude at home, comparisons with others' lives, and reporting to mother or others related to her will compell me shift my interest from her to other things, perhaps other individuals. It would be tragic to find our child taking birth in such an environment under such a stupid and dishonest mother's care.

It is quite disturbing and strange as well to see how she always without exception fails to understand my acts of affection or love. If I buy her anything, she would thing it is my duty.

If I take her out, she would feel I would have some purpose behind it. If I listen to her with patience for a few days, she would take me for granted and use foul or illiterate people's vocabulary with me. If I inform her that I would be coming late, she would say 'certainly you would be dating someone'. If I tell her to be careful so that nobody could expose her for her mistakes, she would ignore it as silly suggestion. If I taken her out for movie or at any place, she would start comparing in her mind or even blurt it out to me how her friend or relative's husband take care of their wives. If I ask her to work and turn intelligent and be prepared as an up to date lady in my social circles, she would think I am trying to push her to work for 'her fucking money'.

I just pray her so called advisers soon realise that they are teaching her all those things which she is applying wrongly and stupidly. And, second thing is her husband is observing her every clever move and demand and words now with suspicion! And, very soon she could be with them forever with such over smart approach with her own husband who simply wishes her to turn a better non-selfish and nice human being.

One serious thing she is forgetting in her mind is that if this person can love her, he can very well leave her forever. And, she will have only herself to blame for this disaster in her married life. I fear that time is coming quite fast in her life due to her 'well wishers' and her personal over smartness in personal life.

Regards

Chaudhary Sandeep Datta