(July 31,2 014)
Dear Prashant Bhaiya
Though it looks quite childish
of a grown up man like me to bother you every now and then, there are
certain things that I am sure can be eased out only with your help. I
approach to you and your wisdom as you can feel a man's concern as a
person, as a husband and a professional too despite being a girl's
brother. That's why I have faith in your neutrality.
It's been about a year since Pratibha
returned after a long stay at her mother's house. It was due to your
tough talking and strict directions to her that helped a lot in
achieving peace in our family life.
But as you know Pratibha's
nature far well than me, I think whatever I am going to share you can
understand how much it could be truth or false, ethical or unethical,
justified or unjustified.
Till April, everything was going on
absolutely fine. Then she went along with your family to Vrindavan. I
don't know what disillusion she got from that visit that she felt
completely changed in her behaviour. She started replying back quite
rudely, making remarks or saying something something about anybody and
everybody. Surely, I interrupted her strictly but she never bothered
what she was doing.
But for past few months, Pratibha has adopted some strange habits that have now turned impossible for me to tolerate.
The biggest reason is that she has sharpened her old habit of exaggerating things and lying.
If she is asked to not do something. She turns it
such a big issue as if she is being made a slave or prisoner. She wants
nobody should tell her about changing any habit. At times she provokes
me to the extent of literally challenging saying: "Kya kar loge marogey
mujhe, marogey...aur kar hi kya sakte ho".
CHAKU
Last to last month (In early
May), I had asked her to first go and put on her hearing machine. But
she shouted on me in front of Neelam didi, Pooja, Manushree and Dhairya.
I didn't reply and just closed my eyes and slept in the sofa to control
my reaction. After 30 minutes, she arrived near me and put pillows on
me. I put aside one. She again put it on me forcefully. I threw it
around. Then she put a chair on me.
When I threw back the pillow on her while telling
her never try dare to get physical with me like that, she started
shouting before mumma saying: "Mumma dekho mujhe mar rahe hain..aur Inke
Haath Mein Agar CHAKU aa jaye to wo bhi mar dengey"
Mumma, came from other room with Chanchal and both
shouted at me and asked me to explain why I threw that sofa pillow on
her. When I told them to first ask Pratibha why
she forcefully put pillows on me and then put even chair on me, she had
no explanation. I stopped talking to her for a week due to her this
false allegation and behaviour.
She later accepted that she was angry over something
not directly related to me. Think of my condition, if she would have
called you while crying to tell her mummy or daddy that I was beating or
trying "to kill" her, you would have never believed my version over
phone. But I am mentioning it especially to tell HOW she makes up things
to her favour.
Imprisonment
As you also know I
never stopped her if she ever wished to visit your home, she still
makes it a big quarrel if she is asked why she wants to go every month
unwantedly. She would say that I wish to cage her in a prison.
This was the reason why she fought with me to visit
mummy's place last time (barely 10 days after Vrindavan visit with her
mummy and family). I felt highly irritated over her allegations and I
instead made her stay there for a week. I am sure she would have never
told you about it.
Phones
If you remember I just
asked her not to call mummy or sister because of past incidents and her
habit of misreporting daily happenings in our house. She has never
stopped it. Despite my requests, she never stopped calling. But since
returning from there, she has increased this habit and has been calling
(I don't know whom) from outside when she visits temple or goes out to
buy any household thing. She has never been denied to call anyone except
the two and she admits it.
Temple
Despite your questioning her
on temple visits, she has never stopped it. I have told her, requested
her and adviced her innumerable times to not spend one hour in the
temple (including five minutes of milk purchasing). Especially, when she
is required at home.
She listened to me after many heated arguments and
reduced the time by 10-15 minutes that too for a few days. If I tell her
that she shouldn't spend so much time in Mandir when it is time for a
breakfast or she may be required at home for a cup of tea, she made it
as if I am "trying to take away her FREEDOM".
Last time when Preeti didi's gudiya fell, I rushed
to the temple to find her out and convey didi's message. I went inside
the small temple and searched for her everywhere, she was not there. I
waited for 15 minutes outside the temple and returned. She later said I
would not have checked properly. When I later shouted, she said " Main
kisi ko milne nahin gayi hui thi".
Instead of shouting or quarreling I have adopted to
stop talking for a few days whenever I am "highly irritated" from her
remarks or allegations.
She went missing for an hour
In the latest incident Monday, she got late in getting ready and I
left her at home for clicking sunset from the nearby Metro station, as
the light was almost ending and I was to rush. When I returned after 15
minutes to pick her up and take to some other place, she was absent. For
the next one hour (6.30 to 7.40 p.m. ) , I kept waiting for her to
return. And, nobody knew about her. When I asked her where she was and
why without telling anyone, she said she opted to spend time inside
Mandir as she was feeling mentally disturbed! I asked why did she again
went there despite it being late evening and my objections to it, she
said "Kar lo , Kar lo ...Mujhe Qaid kar ke rakhna chahte ho"
In another latest incident (Wednesday), she asked me
to go to Income Tax department for some work. She said she wanted to
enquire about something. I said "okay go early in the morning but dont'
get late". I met her on the road when she was leaving. I asked her I
could drop her to metro station or somewhere nearby. She said " nahin
nahin aap jao, main apne aap Jaoongi" . It was 11.15 a.m.. She returned
home at about 6.00 p.m. (5.45). I asked her why? She said: "Jaake puch
lo main Sidhant C.A. se mili thi income tax department mein". I asked
her but the income tax department was at ITO and it takes just 15
minutes on bike and 10-15 minutes on metro then what took her so long in
a government department just to enquire one or two sentence from any
officer? She said: "Main wahin thi" " Jaa kar puch lo".When I asked her
in a shouting manner she said: "Ho sakta hai na mujhe aur bhi koi kaam
ho". I said but how could it take "Seven hours!!!!" Pratibha's
answer was: "Sare kaam ek kamre se nahin ho sakte, Ja kar pata kar lo
mere bare mein I.T office se...jaise ke mere office mein pehle Guptchar
lagaye they"
I need to inform and ask you if I am wrong in asking
about her whereabouts in such situations. What if tomorrow you will ask
me why didn't you check if she did not return for so many hours? Why
didn't you tell us she was provoking you or hiding so many things from
you?
Bhaiya, I bored you with all this stuff, because I
want you to know it all. I am sure she still keeps reporting or cooking
up stories to win "shaabashi" from her family (without letting anyone
know about the reality). But the kind of "serial style" lifestyle she is
fast adapting is quite dangerous for peace in a married life.
She feels she has nothing to lose or there is
nothing bad in being sent home till her family is supporting her. But
trust my words, she is killing her own family life with such an
attitude.
And, please don't forget asking her when was the last time she cooked meal twice in a day.
Regards
