Finally, I am married...
Thank God, I am married. I say this becasue considering the kind of pulls and pressure existed ahead of this wedding are too much to be explained accurately.
There were constraints of money, time, and dirty moves of my elder brother.
Despite my best possible efforts to keep the expenses within my budget, they exceeded. The last three days just ahead of my wedding day were actually very very hectic. The biggest disappointment was not being able to properly invite all of my loved ones the way I wished to.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
It's June 7; thirteen days left for my Sagan and 21 days to the wedding.
While talking to my fiancee yesterday night I felt a bit disturbed perhaps for the first time due to her. She wanted to make a few things clear and be clear about a few things she has been able to understand.
The main thing was her being in job after marriage. I told her it's necessary. But she wanted to be sure if she would have to work despite pregnancy. Well, it was a bit too advance to think of it even before getting engaged. But I preferred being as realistic as i could. I told her it's not about being compelled to visit office in such a condition rather about keeping my mind clear that she will hve be get back to job after child birth as and when possible.
I told her it gets easy when you have persons at home to take care of child. Like,in our case, it's my mother. And, the job was needed to prevent her become a typical housewife, too much into others' news and less interested in the world her husband lives in.
I told her I hate talking on such topics and that's why never talk to family members until necessary. I have chosen her , an MBA by education girl, not to make her a typical Aunty by mind or talks. I told her my society belongs to the educated and the constructive minds instead of behejis and she would find her recogntion as someone into some constructive work. She said she 'understands' it's necessary for financial help and to be able to introduce her in my society.
I contracted her by saying no matter whether she was working or not or intelligent or not....she will be introduced by me and accepted by my friends or society with equal grace as my life partner. The job is required to keep her mind occupied with sth. constructive.
She is showing hesitation like a kid and acting as an school girl who wants to attend the school but want to confirm before joining it that she will neither be made to do homework (read household work) nor she will be objected to live as per the school's rules and regulations (read the new home's living style).
It is interesting that she has been reared under a mother who reprimands her and seeks explanation every now and then but still she expects maximum freedom at the new form. It looks she wants to have her way and that's why making many a things clear to me one by one at a time when i am in romantic mood.
Well, maybe she has found me a bit too easy to overwhelm.
I know it would have to her as a major disappointment when I said that I hoped she has heard workd partiachal way of life. I told her why I am talking to men , no woman is allowed to interfere in any way, just like I don't interfere in ladies' work.
She told me she never thought she would be in a joint family. I felt a little awkward but i smiled at her stupidity in saying so in front of a person who cannot digest the idea of living away from loved ones. By saying so , she showed she is just another average girl who doesn't wish to cherish living in family but an alienated life.
Frankly writing, I felt i am witnessing a hidden girl with her innermost scary wishes coming out one by one. Perhaps, she wanted a person who will fall in love with her and start obeying her out of love. It feels bad but I hope she will soon get the message this man is actually MAN enough to handle a girl and make her lead a responsible life instead of enjoy an everlasting honeymoon.
While talking to my fiancee yesterday night I felt a bit disturbed perhaps for the first time due to her. She wanted to make a few things clear and be clear about a few things she has been able to understand.
The main thing was her being in job after marriage. I told her it's necessary. But she wanted to be sure if she would have to work despite pregnancy. Well, it was a bit too advance to think of it even before getting engaged. But I preferred being as realistic as i could. I told her it's not about being compelled to visit office in such a condition rather about keeping my mind clear that she will hve be get back to job after child birth as and when possible.
I told her it gets easy when you have persons at home to take care of child. Like,in our case, it's my mother. And, the job was needed to prevent her become a typical housewife, too much into others' news and less interested in the world her husband lives in.
I told her I hate talking on such topics and that's why never talk to family members until necessary. I have chosen her , an MBA by education girl, not to make her a typical Aunty by mind or talks. I told her my society belongs to the educated and the constructive minds instead of behejis and she would find her recogntion as someone into some constructive work. She said she 'understands' it's necessary for financial help and to be able to introduce her in my society.
I contracted her by saying no matter whether she was working or not or intelligent or not....she will be introduced by me and accepted by my friends or society with equal grace as my life partner. The job is required to keep her mind occupied with sth. constructive.
She is showing hesitation like a kid and acting as an school girl who wants to attend the school but want to confirm before joining it that she will neither be made to do homework (read household work) nor she will be objected to live as per the school's rules and regulations (read the new home's living style).
It is interesting that she has been reared under a mother who reprimands her and seeks explanation every now and then but still she expects maximum freedom at the new form. It looks she wants to have her way and that's why making many a things clear to me one by one at a time when i am in romantic mood.
Well, maybe she has found me a bit too easy to overwhelm.
I know it would have to her as a major disappointment when I said that I hoped she has heard workd partiachal way of life. I told her why I am talking to men , no woman is allowed to interfere in any way, just like I don't interfere in ladies' work.
She told me she never thought she would be in a joint family. I felt a little awkward but i smiled at her stupidity in saying so in front of a person who cannot digest the idea of living away from loved ones. By saying so , she showed she is just another average girl who doesn't wish to cherish living in family but an alienated life.
Frankly writing, I felt i am witnessing a hidden girl with her innermost scary wishes coming out one by one. Perhaps, she wanted a person who will fall in love with her and start obeying her out of love. It feels bad but I hope she will soon get the message this man is actually MAN enough to handle a girl and make her lead a responsible life instead of enjoy an everlasting honeymoon.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Dowry--a big dilemma
The subject of dowry is turning out to be quite strange for me. As the wedding-day has been decided for June 28, 2010, the preparations are on and so is everyone's pressure on me.
Beyond preparations, a big and interesting strange has arisen. Almost all are concerned and want to know about my opinion on one thing---DOWRY.
It has turned a major problem, as I have also been an anti-dowry person and this time it's my turn to set an example. But I am feeling being trapped or pushed into the line of dowry-seekers.
Strangely, the pressure is from girl's side to convince me to accept it with grace.
I don't know why but pressure is mounting on me. I am surprised about not just my family but by her family too. They want to increase the list of 'gifts' for marriage. Being an anti-dowry person by heart and spirit, I have always been dead against it.
Even the initial talks for Rokka (confirmation of marriage) were postponed and brought to the brink of 'NO' by me, as they girl's mother indicated that they may gift a car on wedding.
I strongly objected it and felt a big insult and mockery of my resolution to have a non-dowry marriage.
The girl's mother went into depression for seven days on learning about my decision to even consider the proposal of marriage to her daughter as null and void. She was shocked and fell ill after I made it a serious issue saying how could they even offer me such a thing, when I told them on very first day that i am anti-dowry.
She apologised later and I accepted it and went ahead to marry her daughter after making it clear that I mean something when I say "NO" to dowry.
But I think there is no respite from that for me. Once again, just two months ahead of the marriage they are now influencing my mind indirectly to accept dowry's gifts.
The girl has secretly told me about some of the prominent (read expensive) items of the 'gifts' (read dowry). And, I have made her my secret representative to keep deleting items from that list without letting them know that it's my wish. She has promised me for that.
The influence to keep mum on the issue of accepting gifts by girl's side's choic is being created through my relatives. Somebody is suggesting it's nothing but gifts meant for their own daughter. Somebody says it is a part of ritual and should be accepted as a norm. I am being told not to feel guilty in any way as there is no demand being made from us for any item. Instead, it is the girl's side who are giving it to their daughter for her comfort.
Today, my most respected cousion-cum-mentor Billey Bhapaji called me at his home and convinced me to not to make it an issue . I promised him I wouldn't create any public scene, as is being percieved or feared by girl's side.
My sister and jiaji held a meet with me two hours later on the same issue. I was told to avoid any such resistance. It was told that i should view the gifts as necessary things meant to replace the already for the sake of welcoming new waves in home.
When I said I am also old and deserves to be replaced with new in that case, they laughed away.
Anyways, I am very very disturbed mentally as I am finding it highly uncomfortalbe and almost like ............don't know what.....to accept anything as dowry under the garb of gift.
It's said don't take dowry. I say: "Do they allow us not to take it?"
The subject of dowry is turning out to be quite strange for me. As the wedding-day has been decided for June 28, 2010, the preparations are on and so is everyone's pressure on me.
Beyond preparations, a big and interesting strange has arisen. Almost all are concerned and want to know about my opinion on one thing---DOWRY.
It has turned a major problem, as I have also been an anti-dowry person and this time it's my turn to set an example. But I am feeling being trapped or pushed into the line of dowry-seekers.
Strangely, the pressure is from girl's side to convince me to accept it with grace.
I don't know why but pressure is mounting on me. I am surprised about not just my family but by her family too. They want to increase the list of 'gifts' for marriage. Being an anti-dowry person by heart and spirit, I have always been dead against it.
Even the initial talks for Rokka (confirmation of marriage) were postponed and brought to the brink of 'NO' by me, as they girl's mother indicated that they may gift a car on wedding.
I strongly objected it and felt a big insult and mockery of my resolution to have a non-dowry marriage.
The girl's mother went into depression for seven days on learning about my decision to even consider the proposal of marriage to her daughter as null and void. She was shocked and fell ill after I made it a serious issue saying how could they even offer me such a thing, when I told them on very first day that i am anti-dowry.
She apologised later and I accepted it and went ahead to marry her daughter after making it clear that I mean something when I say "NO" to dowry.
But I think there is no respite from that for me. Once again, just two months ahead of the marriage they are now influencing my mind indirectly to accept dowry's gifts.
The girl has secretly told me about some of the prominent (read expensive) items of the 'gifts' (read dowry). And, I have made her my secret representative to keep deleting items from that list without letting them know that it's my wish. She has promised me for that.
The influence to keep mum on the issue of accepting gifts by girl's side's choic is being created through my relatives. Somebody is suggesting it's nothing but gifts meant for their own daughter. Somebody says it is a part of ritual and should be accepted as a norm. I am being told not to feel guilty in any way as there is no demand being made from us for any item. Instead, it is the girl's side who are giving it to their daughter for her comfort.
Today, my most respected cousion-cum-mentor Billey Bhapaji called me at his home and convinced me to not to make it an issue . I promised him I wouldn't create any public scene, as is being percieved or feared by girl's side.
My sister and jiaji held a meet with me two hours later on the same issue. I was told to avoid any such resistance. It was told that i should view the gifts as necessary things meant to replace the already for the sake of welcoming new waves in home.
When I said I am also old and deserves to be replaced with new in that case, they laughed away.
Anyways, I am very very disturbed mentally as I am finding it highly uncomfortalbe and almost like ............don't know what.....to accept anything as dowry under the garb of gift.
It's said don't take dowry. I say: "Do they allow us not to take it?"
Latta and jijaji held a meet with me at Sangam to discuss wedding preparations.
My mind is totally engrossed in that......don't know what's happeing and how it will happen...Bhaiya is conveying his hesitation to even participate in marriage or any single preparation.
The problems are aggravating at home.
My mind is totally engrossed in that......don't know what's happeing and how it will happen...Bhaiya is conveying his hesitation to even participate in marriage or any single preparation.
The problems are aggravating at home.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
April 3.....My first official day of courtship....
Yes...I liked her.....toooooooooooooo muchhhhh, as she did feel a girl who is actually happy being with me forever...I actually felt loved....and liked so deeply with complete faith and respect. O Lord, please...make me capable enough to keep her happy always!
March 21, 2010
It’s March and I am preparing for the marriage. Before preparations in actual action the mental exercise has begun. The planning is most important. And, I am just putting main things to do on piece of paper. The rest will be sub-plans.
My role is obviously not of any price but of an executive who will plan, execute and also organize things. However, handling individuals and their oversensitivities could be a big challenge me.
Lord Krishna, please give me courage.
Today, it was an irritating start of the day. I was irritated to notice there wasn’t any Baniyan for me. Ahead of the girl’s side we put things in a disorganized way and thus everything was put wherever someone wanted. The result is I am finding it hard to locate my belonging which I did keep at some place.
We were supposed to visit Mamaji. I brought sweets box. But all in vain. I reached home and turned irritated over Baniyan. I just denied to go to Mamaji’s house in that mood. Brother also denied taking Mumma there without me. He said if Sandeep is busy so was he. The visit was cancelled for the day. Perhaps, till we recover from our mood.
March 2, 2010
The Ungrateful
The partition of Hindustan into India and Pakistan in 1947 was such a tragic incident that even after over six decades its pain is felt in various Mushaiyaras, Kavi Sammelans and occasional meetings of people from both sides of the border.
The exodus of people to either side of the border was biggest ever recorded in history books. Millions of people migrated to India from that side to live through Punjab borders. A section of these people were Punjabi families, which suffered attacks by their long time friends, neighbours, and well-wishers as part of mob violence.
These Punjabis somehow managed to reach to Indian side leaving behind their ancestral properties. Many of these people develop goose bums on their body if they were to recall those terrible days of migration, the consistent fear of being slaughtered or looted or even physically molested. It is said that so many women preferred diving into the wells while running for security from a chasing mad-mob that also included blood thirsty and savage individuals who would rape any woman or teenaged girls they could catch hold of before killing.
The lucky ones who could reach the Indian borders were offered shelter in the refugee camps, especially set up for their help. But due to limited resources the government wasn’t in a condition to arrange for their two square meal, clothes to wear or other basic amenities. Jansangh or the present-day Rashtriya Swayamsewak Sangh, a Hindu cultural organistion, came forward to be of help to these refugee families in such a desperate time. The women, the children, the elderly and the injured all were helpless and wanted help to survive. And, at this moment, the RSS volunteers served them with a dedicated spirit and enable them to carry on without fear.
Children of those families are not aged and still recall the timely help they received from the RSS.
However, it can shock anyone having even slight awareness of those desperate days of Partition and families’ plight if he or she comes across children of those families describing RSS as a fundamentalist or Hindu militant group. These modern-day children of those refugee families’ sole purpose is nothing but to disturb communal harmony in India. The political wing of RSS is today known as Bharatiya Janata Party and religious wing as the Vishwa Hindu Parishad. These two dominant wings are dedicated to the cause of protecting the right to life and respect in their own country without being oppose to the same right available to member of non-Hindu communities in the country.
Feb.8, 2010
Dixit sahab told me today that I am perceived as a Ghost Writer for Ravinder Singh Robin. I was surprise why he has chosen to describe me like that. I asked D, what is the reason for it when the person, who is working as reporter with ANI, has been connected by the company itself. Being the in-charge for Punjab stories, he automatically send his stories to me and I have to present it properly. I told hem there is nothing to such a good relation and just because I choose to converse in the language he finds convenient. D himself said Rao sahab must have also thought about just like he converses in Kannada language with persons of his state, it shouldn’t be unusual to find you conversing in Punjabi with Robin and also misconstrue it anything beyond convenience. But I take it Ghost Write remark as a compliment that at least I could be something for something, even if I am not.
I believe to reduce…..
Spelling mistakes…we should write often enough and read a little but with complete focus on words. It is useful to study easiest and well-written pieces everyday for a few days to remind ourselves of familiar words, their usage and spellings.
For spoken….we must listen to quality speakers and also read with deep involvement, as if we want to listen to words being pronounced in our mind while reading it out. It’s always helpful to read out anything on computer as if we are trying to narrate it to a child in front of us. It helps in developing or improving our narrative style and smoothens our tongue, the most important factor for avoiding hiccups while using a language or new or big words.
For writing…..we must, must read easiest possible write ups i.e. letters to the editor of The Hindu or daily reports of the same newspaper. TOI also serves quality language.
Feb.7, 2010
Is seeking a traffic sergeant’s identity card a crime?
On Feb.7, in a rush to reach my office, I jumped a traffic signal at Jhandewalan roundabout, as it was empty road and no vehicle in side from even very far off. I opted to join other vehicles standing there and waiting for the other side of the traffic to clear. A traffic sergeant came and asked why did I cross the road on Red signal. Without argument I accepted I did a mistake. He asked me to park the vehicle and started asking for my documents. I produced duplicate of my original license. He rejected it. I accepted and stated it was because I have suffered theft of papers so I usually carry that copy and keep the original at home. He asked for my Registration Copy (R.C.). I produced it. It was okay. Then he asked for my insurance document. I said I wasn’t carrying it but could produce it right away from home.
But Jai Singh, the sergeant, simply refused to wait for it saying he won’t like waiting for me in the meanwhile I go and return from home. Sensing he is getting after my skin for basically a minor offence of red light jumping, I said I was ready to pay for the offence. But he disagreed to accept that. He said I should pay it in court instead. I asked him, when I am ready to pay here why should I go there? Besides, I was getting late. But he remained adamant and kept writing for about 10 minutes. I asked him why was he not allowing me to pay at the place of incident itself. He said: “NO”.
I asked him to show me his I-card first before I handover my all documents in his custody. He took out a card for a glimpse and just put it back without letting me even read the name or see the photo in it? He felt agitated on it and said now I will show you what it means to ask for an identity card of a traffic policeman. He again started writing. When I asked what he was actually writing now, he said that it was that I misbehaved with him. I was shocked. I asked him but what was exactly that I commit to make him so furious? He said “nothing”. But as another sergeant arrived at the spot, he said this guy asked wanted to see my I-card and hence I am showing him what can I do. I was surprised on this revelation. It was happening just because I asked for his I-card? I was surprised and said but that is what anyone should do before handing over documents.
He said that’s what you are witnessing. He kept on writing. And, asked for my office card, as PRESS was written on the motorbike. I said I am a journalist that’s why I have written that for night shifts. He asked for my office I-card to identify me. I game him that. He called my office. I asked why? He said to complain about my misbehaviour. But for what? I asked. He said because you have misbehaved and not signing the challan without reading it. I was shocked what was he upto?
Feb.3, 2010
The smile, the taunts, the show off Bihari dom existing in office or around is becoming a constant irritant. I feel ashamed of the Dilliwalas who are not understanding their place, position and respect is being captured by these strange Biharis. Though I have many good and respectful friends from Bihar, some of the Bihari guys are polluting the warm feeling I have always cherished while talking to them.
I wish maximum people understand that they need to be careful and be ready unitedly to take of their own space from Biharis.
Feb.1, 2010
Mukesh sir at Sopan shocked me with the present reality of Asian Age. He told me how Asian Age is being run in an unprofessional way, as the journalists working there are under intense pain to quit or compromise with personal dignity. The abuses, the reprimand with heavy pay packet is there for anyone to join or stay away for.
Jan.25, 2010
I am pained to find Dianne, a girl who does entertainment stories in Print Section, demanding a seat from Sreeraj, who does political stories, on the premise that that particular seat belonged to the Entertainment department. When I told her it was such a small thing and all seats basically belonged to the team of Print section that we work for, she refused to accept it.
She said: “Look at the audacity of Shreeraj, he asked me if I could sit elsewhere. I felt like slapping him.” The statement shocked me to think of the level the entire print section has reached. There was a time when we worked as a team. Today, there is such a feeling that we are two separate departments altogether.
She has always looked divisionary, I have noticed, and a bit too much on the face when it comes to “my” or “your” kind of situation. But it felt hurting today to see her speaking like that without hesitation for the mediocre way or embarrassment for her words. None of us ever uses such a blunt or disturbing statement but her attitude on such a subject felt shocking.
I believe two fellows—Chandrika Jain and Bhavana Shekhawat—sown the seeds from our section. And, Shilpa, who worked for marketing, and Pooja of entertainment section, in our same department, spoiled the loving and inspirational team spirit by their self-centred and unconcerned attitude towards others special occasions triggered that attitude in Bhavana, on several occasions. The celebration of individuals’ birthdays or farewells working in their section and never of persons working in our section, peeved a lot. Bhavna was the first person to point it out to me and I realized it then onwards. They have always given me so much respect at ANI.
But now I feel foolish to have felt all as a team. But having such a mindset of different departments is shocking. Nobody has noticed the growing distance among hearts in this section. I am utterly disappointed to notice such a development in attitudes.
Jan.24, 2010
12.50 p.m
I am shocked to notice the foreign delegates giving a thousand rupee note at R.K.Puram traffic signal despite being educated and informed.
Why do educated people give money to child beggars or sellers? Can't they understand they are promoting their exploitation?
9.00 p.m.
Mr.Dixit surprised me today by asking about my ailing mother’s health. I felt very nice about this courtesy. He told me that his Mrs. (Bhabhi ji) asked him why he hadn’t asked about my mother’s health condition till date for such a long time.
He also offered me that I could take time off whenever I needed to depending upon my mother’s need. He said, irrespective of others he would always be with me in such an hour.
I am actually surprised and conveyed my thanks and Namaskar to Bhabhi ji.
Yes...I liked her.....toooooooooooooo muchhhhh, as she did feel a girl who is actually happy being with me forever...I actually felt loved....and liked so deeply with complete faith and respect. O Lord, please...make me capable enough to keep her happy always!
March 21, 2010
It’s March and I am preparing for the marriage. Before preparations in actual action the mental exercise has begun. The planning is most important. And, I am just putting main things to do on piece of paper. The rest will be sub-plans.
My role is obviously not of any price but of an executive who will plan, execute and also organize things. However, handling individuals and their oversensitivities could be a big challenge me.
Lord Krishna, please give me courage.
Today, it was an irritating start of the day. I was irritated to notice there wasn’t any Baniyan for me. Ahead of the girl’s side we put things in a disorganized way and thus everything was put wherever someone wanted. The result is I am finding it hard to locate my belonging which I did keep at some place.
We were supposed to visit Mamaji. I brought sweets box. But all in vain. I reached home and turned irritated over Baniyan. I just denied to go to Mamaji’s house in that mood. Brother also denied taking Mumma there without me. He said if Sandeep is busy so was he. The visit was cancelled for the day. Perhaps, till we recover from our mood.
March 2, 2010
The Ungrateful
The partition of Hindustan into India and Pakistan in 1947 was such a tragic incident that even after over six decades its pain is felt in various Mushaiyaras, Kavi Sammelans and occasional meetings of people from both sides of the border.
The exodus of people to either side of the border was biggest ever recorded in history books. Millions of people migrated to India from that side to live through Punjab borders. A section of these people were Punjabi families, which suffered attacks by their long time friends, neighbours, and well-wishers as part of mob violence.
These Punjabis somehow managed to reach to Indian side leaving behind their ancestral properties. Many of these people develop goose bums on their body if they were to recall those terrible days of migration, the consistent fear of being slaughtered or looted or even physically molested. It is said that so many women preferred diving into the wells while running for security from a chasing mad-mob that also included blood thirsty and savage individuals who would rape any woman or teenaged girls they could catch hold of before killing.
The lucky ones who could reach the Indian borders were offered shelter in the refugee camps, especially set up for their help. But due to limited resources the government wasn’t in a condition to arrange for their two square meal, clothes to wear or other basic amenities. Jansangh or the present-day Rashtriya Swayamsewak Sangh, a Hindu cultural organistion, came forward to be of help to these refugee families in such a desperate time. The women, the children, the elderly and the injured all were helpless and wanted help to survive. And, at this moment, the RSS volunteers served them with a dedicated spirit and enable them to carry on without fear.
Children of those families are not aged and still recall the timely help they received from the RSS.
However, it can shock anyone having even slight awareness of those desperate days of Partition and families’ plight if he or she comes across children of those families describing RSS as a fundamentalist or Hindu militant group. These modern-day children of those refugee families’ sole purpose is nothing but to disturb communal harmony in India. The political wing of RSS is today known as Bharatiya Janata Party and religious wing as the Vishwa Hindu Parishad. These two dominant wings are dedicated to the cause of protecting the right to life and respect in their own country without being oppose to the same right available to member of non-Hindu communities in the country.
Feb.8, 2010
Dixit sahab told me today that I am perceived as a Ghost Writer for Ravinder Singh Robin. I was surprise why he has chosen to describe me like that. I asked D, what is the reason for it when the person, who is working as reporter with ANI, has been connected by the company itself. Being the in-charge for Punjab stories, he automatically send his stories to me and I have to present it properly. I told hem there is nothing to such a good relation and just because I choose to converse in the language he finds convenient. D himself said Rao sahab must have also thought about just like he converses in Kannada language with persons of his state, it shouldn’t be unusual to find you conversing in Punjabi with Robin and also misconstrue it anything beyond convenience. But I take it Ghost Write remark as a compliment that at least I could be something for something, even if I am not.
I believe to reduce…..
Spelling mistakes…we should write often enough and read a little but with complete focus on words. It is useful to study easiest and well-written pieces everyday for a few days to remind ourselves of familiar words, their usage and spellings.
For spoken….we must listen to quality speakers and also read with deep involvement, as if we want to listen to words being pronounced in our mind while reading it out. It’s always helpful to read out anything on computer as if we are trying to narrate it to a child in front of us. It helps in developing or improving our narrative style and smoothens our tongue, the most important factor for avoiding hiccups while using a language or new or big words.
For writing…..we must, must read easiest possible write ups i.e. letters to the editor of The Hindu or daily reports of the same newspaper. TOI also serves quality language.
Feb.7, 2010
Is seeking a traffic sergeant’s identity card a crime?
On Feb.7, in a rush to reach my office, I jumped a traffic signal at Jhandewalan roundabout, as it was empty road and no vehicle in side from even very far off. I opted to join other vehicles standing there and waiting for the other side of the traffic to clear. A traffic sergeant came and asked why did I cross the road on Red signal. Without argument I accepted I did a mistake. He asked me to park the vehicle and started asking for my documents. I produced duplicate of my original license. He rejected it. I accepted and stated it was because I have suffered theft of papers so I usually carry that copy and keep the original at home. He asked for my Registration Copy (R.C.). I produced it. It was okay. Then he asked for my insurance document. I said I wasn’t carrying it but could produce it right away from home.
But Jai Singh, the sergeant, simply refused to wait for it saying he won’t like waiting for me in the meanwhile I go and return from home. Sensing he is getting after my skin for basically a minor offence of red light jumping, I said I was ready to pay for the offence. But he disagreed to accept that. He said I should pay it in court instead. I asked him, when I am ready to pay here why should I go there? Besides, I was getting late. But he remained adamant and kept writing for about 10 minutes. I asked him why was he not allowing me to pay at the place of incident itself. He said: “NO”.
I asked him to show me his I-card first before I handover my all documents in his custody. He took out a card for a glimpse and just put it back without letting me even read the name or see the photo in it? He felt agitated on it and said now I will show you what it means to ask for an identity card of a traffic policeman. He again started writing. When I asked what he was actually writing now, he said that it was that I misbehaved with him. I was shocked. I asked him but what was exactly that I commit to make him so furious? He said “nothing”. But as another sergeant arrived at the spot, he said this guy asked wanted to see my I-card and hence I am showing him what can I do. I was surprised on this revelation. It was happening just because I asked for his I-card? I was surprised and said but that is what anyone should do before handing over documents.
He said that’s what you are witnessing. He kept on writing. And, asked for my office card, as PRESS was written on the motorbike. I said I am a journalist that’s why I have written that for night shifts. He asked for my office I-card to identify me. I game him that. He called my office. I asked why? He said to complain about my misbehaviour. But for what? I asked. He said because you have misbehaved and not signing the challan without reading it. I was shocked what was he upto?
Feb.3, 2010
The smile, the taunts, the show off Bihari dom existing in office or around is becoming a constant irritant. I feel ashamed of the Dilliwalas who are not understanding their place, position and respect is being captured by these strange Biharis. Though I have many good and respectful friends from Bihar, some of the Bihari guys are polluting the warm feeling I have always cherished while talking to them.
I wish maximum people understand that they need to be careful and be ready unitedly to take of their own space from Biharis.
Feb.1, 2010
Mukesh sir at Sopan shocked me with the present reality of Asian Age. He told me how Asian Age is being run in an unprofessional way, as the journalists working there are under intense pain to quit or compromise with personal dignity. The abuses, the reprimand with heavy pay packet is there for anyone to join or stay away for.
Jan.25, 2010
I am pained to find Dianne, a girl who does entertainment stories in Print Section, demanding a seat from Sreeraj, who does political stories, on the premise that that particular seat belonged to the Entertainment department. When I told her it was such a small thing and all seats basically belonged to the team of Print section that we work for, she refused to accept it.
She said: “Look at the audacity of Shreeraj, he asked me if I could sit elsewhere. I felt like slapping him.” The statement shocked me to think of the level the entire print section has reached. There was a time when we worked as a team. Today, there is such a feeling that we are two separate departments altogether.
She has always looked divisionary, I have noticed, and a bit too much on the face when it comes to “my” or “your” kind of situation. But it felt hurting today to see her speaking like that without hesitation for the mediocre way or embarrassment for her words. None of us ever uses such a blunt or disturbing statement but her attitude on such a subject felt shocking.
I believe two fellows—Chandrika Jain and Bhavana Shekhawat—sown the seeds from our section. And, Shilpa, who worked for marketing, and Pooja of entertainment section, in our same department, spoiled the loving and inspirational team spirit by their self-centred and unconcerned attitude towards others special occasions triggered that attitude in Bhavana, on several occasions. The celebration of individuals’ birthdays or farewells working in their section and never of persons working in our section, peeved a lot. Bhavna was the first person to point it out to me and I realized it then onwards. They have always given me so much respect at ANI.
But now I feel foolish to have felt all as a team. But having such a mindset of different departments is shocking. Nobody has noticed the growing distance among hearts in this section. I am utterly disappointed to notice such a development in attitudes.
Jan.24, 2010
12.50 p.m
I am shocked to notice the foreign delegates giving a thousand rupee note at R.K.Puram traffic signal despite being educated and informed.
Why do educated people give money to child beggars or sellers? Can't they understand they are promoting their exploitation?
9.00 p.m.
Mr.Dixit surprised me today by asking about my ailing mother’s health. I felt very nice about this courtesy. He told me that his Mrs. (Bhabhi ji) asked him why he hadn’t asked about my mother’s health condition till date for such a long time.
He also offered me that I could take time off whenever I needed to depending upon my mother’s need. He said, irrespective of others he would always be with me in such an hour.
I am actually surprised and conveyed my thanks and Namaskar to Bhabhi ji.
Monday, March 15, 2010
The Marriage
March 14, 2010
3.11 a.m.
I have heard people taking a lot of time before finalizing their life partner to be. I decided it in the first 15 minutes of coming across a girl that she was going to be my life partner. My decision was based on the first impression that she looks adjusting and understanding to my way of life and thinking, as briefly explained to her by me.
I didn’t give too much attention to her looks, as I wanted to select a nice person and not just a ‘charming’ girl which might prove good for nothing.
Our family’s approval for the girl took unusually long time. First it was ‘Pau’ month as per Hindu calendar which forbids people to get into relations or start off anything new, later it was both families’ over cautious approach which led to suspicious feelings.
The basic difference of opinion is based on the fact that ours is basically a business-oriented family and theirs is a service-oriented family. Hence, the approach to view things or deal with any matter or subject leads to confusion and clarities.
But everything zeroes-in at the kind of bonding or eagerness both of us—me and my prospective wife—would reflect to our families. It is required to handle both the families’ ego or sensitiveness.
The fact that both of us have felt comfortable in each other’s company whenever we could interact has humbled both sides and forced them to reconcile.
The process of marriage has commenced in very strange way with individuals from both sides behaving in a way which is viewed with raised eyebrows or cynicism.
In my family, my elder brother has proved himself funny by acting in a strange way unexpected of a 42 to 46 age group. He has always spoken out of turn, unnecessarily and ungracefully. That’s his limitations for not being exposed to present-day socializing system.
Though I am grateful to him for opening my eyes to see the hidden truth clearly on various occasions, I would still say he is just shocking to listen to or even watch behaving in any gathering. He needs to improve a lot more than rest of the family because the responsibility to come forward and also act as the eldest of our family is just missing in his conduct. I find the girl’s side generally tolerating him instead of cherishing his presence. He wants to sound intelligent, which he is, but like everyone he is yet to accept somewhere, rather on most of the occasions, he is looking a joker or socially less developed person.
Thankfully I have jijais and Billey Bhapaji as my family elders. The girl’s side finds conversing with them quite comfortable. It is just like when the eldest of a family is supposed to sit in front of the other family’s eldest or elderly persons, he is found doing or commenting stupidly like a primary school kid who is yet to learn how to socialize in a graceful manner. His over attempt to sound intelligent in all respects is proving too much to all, I believe.
Only jijais are emerging out to be quite mature on such a big occasion of my life. Bhaiya’s routine habits and loud-mouthness is hurting everyone besides sounding too embarrassing to bear at times.
I have been advised not to preach or quarrel with anyone or not even speak at high volume in angry mood lest it should hurt others and he or she moves away from the occasion.
Mumma being an ailing person is not in a position to discuss properly her youngest and perhaps favourite son’s marriage proposal. She speaks what she is asked to. Otherwise she is shouted at by me or my silly brother for saying or not saying what she shouldn’t or obviously should have state at any given moment.
The girl’s side looks completely naïve, as if they have just entered a society which abides some rituals and system of performing traditions. They seem as if all they know is how to stand suited-booted at any hotel or gathering and just talk pleasantries.
The main person for whom my internal respect evolves in natural way is their father. We have been told he is not keeping on well now a days since he came across some accident. He was an assistant Director in Ministry of Telecommunications. He loves reading and his favourite author being Agatha Christie. Since he was not introduced to us at the outset. We turned curious after all how could a family talk about a girl’s marriage proposal without her father being present.
The girl’s side, read brother, even said they were ready for the marriage after meeting their prospective son-in-law, which is me. Though anyone would have enjoyed that innocence or mature stance of judging a book by its cover, but it only added to my brother’s cynicism. He conveyed that as my well-wisher. I agreed to his logic and also got curious about the family’s secretness or over trusting approach.
We went to their home despite their initial reluctance. We were highly satisfied after meeting their father, who actually looked not being completely well. They tried to show us their newly built flat located at third floor. Everything looked new like a newly bride. But we were content to having taken our mother to their place and having personally invited the prospective daughter-in-law to her. For me, the purpose was achieved besides getting another opportunity to interact briefly with the girl.
Personally, I never wanted to accept any girl on earth as my life partner till my mother gave her consent on my choice. It was my way of according her the fullest respect which she deserves by the virtue of my mother, the one who produced me despite jeorparding her own life due to minimal hemoglobin of the blood. I was her sixth child. The one preceding me was also a boy but his head was undeveloped so it was compromised with at doctor’s suggestion at that time. So my birth brought a wave of cheer in my entire family including my eldest sister who was about 18 to 20 years senior to me.
So, in a way, sidelining or ignoring anyone’s respect is like doing a sin and causing an insult to their importance as my flesh and blood and affectionate persons of my life.
The girl’s family I believe is yet to learn about the meaning of dealing with such a big and involved family and also offering due respect to each one according to his or her place in the family. I find them a bit immature or not so much exposed to such niceties.
Their visit to our home proved disastrous. They appear hunting for something more bad than they know in that part of the house which has already been described as old and requiring renovation.
It seems they are trying to find out something very new or neat and clean in the oldest part of the big house. Ours is four times bigger than theirs but has just half of the kind of shine their recently bought flat at the third floor has.
But their inspection of our house and its every nook and corner has surpassed even Bhaiya’s awkward behaviour. It is happening so awkwardly as if they are a flying squad and trying to find out the hidden without ticket passenger or hidden smuggled material somewhere in our house. To me personally, it is the most disgusting part of their conduct which I am finding very very objectionable along with the girl’s mother’s attitude of offering unwanted suggestions.
On the very day of Rokka, the ceremony to officially confirm my marriage to their daughter on any auspicious day in near future, my prospective mother-in-law suggested me about which room should I develop as my bedroom and why I should rent a room or two of my house. They routine mention of my salary being very little (Rs. 18,500 + Rs. 1,000) feels like an insulting comment to me. I am very surprised to think that their daughter for whom they have chosen me is almost earning half of my salary, is not even a proper professional, not even thoroughly well-read or educated. Still, they have the audacity to keep mention my salary being so little at every occasion.
I feel like giving them my piece of mind by showing them a mirror in my sarcastic narrative version. But it is just the respect for their age and now the relation and the fascination of having that seemingly nice girl-at-heart in my life along with decency of any educated person which prevents me from acting myself just like I can but I am avoiding.
Though it feels awkward but both the families appear to be compromising and ignoring small things or issues just because the centre of both families---the girl and the boy—have expressed their strong willingness to marry each other.
I am very nervous about what will happen in future. May God bless both the families maturity and sense of forming good relations.
They didn’t e
March 14, 2010
3.11 a.m.
I have heard people taking a lot of time before finalizing their life partner to be. I decided it in the first 15 minutes of coming across a girl that she was going to be my life partner. My decision was based on the first impression that she looks adjusting and understanding to my way of life and thinking, as briefly explained to her by me.
I didn’t give too much attention to her looks, as I wanted to select a nice person and not just a ‘charming’ girl which might prove good for nothing.
Our family’s approval for the girl took unusually long time. First it was ‘Pau’ month as per Hindu calendar which forbids people to get into relations or start off anything new, later it was both families’ over cautious approach which led to suspicious feelings.
The basic difference of opinion is based on the fact that ours is basically a business-oriented family and theirs is a service-oriented family. Hence, the approach to view things or deal with any matter or subject leads to confusion and clarities.
But everything zeroes-in at the kind of bonding or eagerness both of us—me and my prospective wife—would reflect to our families. It is required to handle both the families’ ego or sensitiveness.
The fact that both of us have felt comfortable in each other’s company whenever we could interact has humbled both sides and forced them to reconcile.
The process of marriage has commenced in very strange way with individuals from both sides behaving in a way which is viewed with raised eyebrows or cynicism.
In my family, my elder brother has proved himself funny by acting in a strange way unexpected of a 42 to 46 age group. He has always spoken out of turn, unnecessarily and ungracefully. That’s his limitations for not being exposed to present-day socializing system.
Though I am grateful to him for opening my eyes to see the hidden truth clearly on various occasions, I would still say he is just shocking to listen to or even watch behaving in any gathering. He needs to improve a lot more than rest of the family because the responsibility to come forward and also act as the eldest of our family is just missing in his conduct. I find the girl’s side generally tolerating him instead of cherishing his presence. He wants to sound intelligent, which he is, but like everyone he is yet to accept somewhere, rather on most of the occasions, he is looking a joker or socially less developed person.
Thankfully I have jijais and Billey Bhapaji as my family elders. The girl’s side finds conversing with them quite comfortable. It is just like when the eldest of a family is supposed to sit in front of the other family’s eldest or elderly persons, he is found doing or commenting stupidly like a primary school kid who is yet to learn how to socialize in a graceful manner. His over attempt to sound intelligent in all respects is proving too much to all, I believe.
Only jijais are emerging out to be quite mature on such a big occasion of my life. Bhaiya’s routine habits and loud-mouthness is hurting everyone besides sounding too embarrassing to bear at times.
I have been advised not to preach or quarrel with anyone or not even speak at high volume in angry mood lest it should hurt others and he or she moves away from the occasion.
Mumma being an ailing person is not in a position to discuss properly her youngest and perhaps favourite son’s marriage proposal. She speaks what she is asked to. Otherwise she is shouted at by me or my silly brother for saying or not saying what she shouldn’t or obviously should have state at any given moment.
The girl’s side looks completely naïve, as if they have just entered a society which abides some rituals and system of performing traditions. They seem as if all they know is how to stand suited-booted at any hotel or gathering and just talk pleasantries.
The main person for whom my internal respect evolves in natural way is their father. We have been told he is not keeping on well now a days since he came across some accident. He was an assistant Director in Ministry of Telecommunications. He loves reading and his favourite author being Agatha Christie. Since he was not introduced to us at the outset. We turned curious after all how could a family talk about a girl’s marriage proposal without her father being present.
The girl’s side, read brother, even said they were ready for the marriage after meeting their prospective son-in-law, which is me. Though anyone would have enjoyed that innocence or mature stance of judging a book by its cover, but it only added to my brother’s cynicism. He conveyed that as my well-wisher. I agreed to his logic and also got curious about the family’s secretness or over trusting approach.
We went to their home despite their initial reluctance. We were highly satisfied after meeting their father, who actually looked not being completely well. They tried to show us their newly built flat located at third floor. Everything looked new like a newly bride. But we were content to having taken our mother to their place and having personally invited the prospective daughter-in-law to her. For me, the purpose was achieved besides getting another opportunity to interact briefly with the girl.
Personally, I never wanted to accept any girl on earth as my life partner till my mother gave her consent on my choice. It was my way of according her the fullest respect which she deserves by the virtue of my mother, the one who produced me despite jeorparding her own life due to minimal hemoglobin of the blood. I was her sixth child. The one preceding me was also a boy but his head was undeveloped so it was compromised with at doctor’s suggestion at that time. So my birth brought a wave of cheer in my entire family including my eldest sister who was about 18 to 20 years senior to me.
So, in a way, sidelining or ignoring anyone’s respect is like doing a sin and causing an insult to their importance as my flesh and blood and affectionate persons of my life.
The girl’s family I believe is yet to learn about the meaning of dealing with such a big and involved family and also offering due respect to each one according to his or her place in the family. I find them a bit immature or not so much exposed to such niceties.
Their visit to our home proved disastrous. They appear hunting for something more bad than they know in that part of the house which has already been described as old and requiring renovation.
It seems they are trying to find out something very new or neat and clean in the oldest part of the big house. Ours is four times bigger than theirs but has just half of the kind of shine their recently bought flat at the third floor has.
But their inspection of our house and its every nook and corner has surpassed even Bhaiya’s awkward behaviour. It is happening so awkwardly as if they are a flying squad and trying to find out the hidden without ticket passenger or hidden smuggled material somewhere in our house. To me personally, it is the most disgusting part of their conduct which I am finding very very objectionable along with the girl’s mother’s attitude of offering unwanted suggestions.
On the very day of Rokka, the ceremony to officially confirm my marriage to their daughter on any auspicious day in near future, my prospective mother-in-law suggested me about which room should I develop as my bedroom and why I should rent a room or two of my house. They routine mention of my salary being very little (Rs. 18,500 + Rs. 1,000) feels like an insulting comment to me. I am very surprised to think that their daughter for whom they have chosen me is almost earning half of my salary, is not even a proper professional, not even thoroughly well-read or educated. Still, they have the audacity to keep mention my salary being so little at every occasion.
I feel like giving them my piece of mind by showing them a mirror in my sarcastic narrative version. But it is just the respect for their age and now the relation and the fascination of having that seemingly nice girl-at-heart in my life along with decency of any educated person which prevents me from acting myself just like I can but I am avoiding.
Though it feels awkward but both the families appear to be compromising and ignoring small things or issues just because the centre of both families---the girl and the boy—have expressed their strong willingness to marry each other.
I am very nervous about what will happen in future. May God bless both the families maturity and sense of forming good relations.
They didn’t e
Friday, January 22, 2010
Jan.23, 2010
Lakshmi called up today. She was in pain, perhaps deep agony than just pain. She was missing her father. The very thought that he is not there is anymore is overwhelming her off and on. Perhaps, the father’s sweet memories keep returning to his beloved daughter. She was quite close to him. Especially, in his last days when he was hospitalized, she was restless. She was in deep pain. The irony was she cannot speak her heart out to anyone, as it would only aggravate her inner suffering. Watching her father awaiting his last moment of life, felt too much to her. May God gives her strength to overcome this unbearable condition.
Jan.19, 2010
I have felt guilty for not being available when it mattered the most on three occasion in last two months. Two of the occasions were the most regretful incidents of my life, as they belonged to two closest friends. One of them lost her father and the other, her mother. I express my condolences from the depth of my heart. I felt ashamed of not being of any worth or use for them when they should have someone trustable with them. I just could not be there with them due to responsibiilites at the workplace.
But it is also true that I genuinely wanted to be with them at any cost. But I couldn’t. The sorry is too little word to say anything about my guilty and moral and social crime.
One of them being Lakshmi, my closest friend and a supporter of the most difficult phase of life when I was in search of first job at any cost. She is my classmate and still a big mental support which helps me carry on in professional life with solace. Her beloved father had been suffering from cancer for a few months. She would tell me almost on routine basis how she was undergoing mental agony but could not share with mother. She wanted to avoid giving shock to her sensitive mother. The father and Lakshmi had promised each other not to let the mother learn of this disease. Both would keep mum and put up a smiling face till the last few weeks were left and doctors informed the days were numbered.
I admire the control of Lakshi and express utter sorrow that despite entire family’s best efforts, her beloved Daddy left for heavenly abode.
She wanted to handover ‘green grass’, as the father wanted to drink its juice. He was told by someone it helps dramatically in cancer. But the problem was that the special grass was available in Delhi only and father was hospitalized in Chennai. Despite best efforts to coordinate with each other , Lakshmi and me could not meet each other despite living in the same city. Whenever I would have time to meet her, she couldn’t and vice-versa.
Finally, she left for Chennai at the desperate call from her sister to be with her father for the last time.
For not being able to be of any use to her will remain lifetime guilt in my conscience.
The other girl is Gayatri, a former colleague at ANI. Though we never worked in one section, as she belonged to electronic media and me, print media, but our vibes made it sure that we were like-minded. I remember she even left her job at ANI for her mother’s health four years ago. She had tears in eyes and couldn’t control them on her last day at ANI, as she left for Kolkata to be with her ailing mother.
We met after four years on roadside. She had joined Live India channel. Both of us were thrilled to meet once again. We shared a good time talking like school kids reuniting after a long phase of life. But then we would talk over phone and share laughter. He mother had carried on with the disease all this years somehow. So I never doubted she would be visiting the hospital for the last time. Last October (2009), Gayatri told me he mother was again hospitalized. I thought it was routine.
Later she informed she was in ICCU. I felt worried for Aunty but avoided visiting her in hospital. She said the mother was recuperating gradually and been shifted to the ward. But she added that the mother was not keeping on well still. I didn’t feel the seriousness of the statement. I hoped she would be alright again and prayed in my heart for her earliest recovery. The office routine kept me heavily occupied in the meantime and I just couldn’t call Gayatri for a long time.
Once I called her up and she said she remains on night or day duty at hospital for her mother, as she required somebody to be with her. It worried me and I avoided calling her up lest I should disturb her at an odd hour of the day. She could be relaxing at home after the night duty or just been attending her darling mother by her bed side. I avoided calling, hence.
But one day, when I did to ask about aunty…I was shocked. Gayatri said: “Mummy to Guzar gayi”.
The answer left me inexplicable to utter any more word. I felt as if her whole world had come to an end. It was because I knew she valued her mother the most and had literally devoted her entire young life for her well-being. The grief overwhelmed me. I just put down the phone and left the room in silence. I narrated that to my mother. She also felt pained to hear that news.
But inside my heart, the guilt of not been able to be with her, hurt me the most. Till date, I am ashamed of my ‘busy’ routine.
The SMS wedding
Amit Tyagi and Ruchi Shrimali……..a unique couple I know.
Lakshmi called up today. She was in pain, perhaps deep agony than just pain. She was missing her father. The very thought that he is not there is anymore is overwhelming her off and on. Perhaps, the father’s sweet memories keep returning to his beloved daughter. She was quite close to him. Especially, in his last days when he was hospitalized, she was restless. She was in deep pain. The irony was she cannot speak her heart out to anyone, as it would only aggravate her inner suffering. Watching her father awaiting his last moment of life, felt too much to her. May God gives her strength to overcome this unbearable condition.
Jan.19, 2010
I have felt guilty for not being available when it mattered the most on three occasion in last two months. Two of the occasions were the most regretful incidents of my life, as they belonged to two closest friends. One of them lost her father and the other, her mother. I express my condolences from the depth of my heart. I felt ashamed of not being of any worth or use for them when they should have someone trustable with them. I just could not be there with them due to responsibiilites at the workplace.
But it is also true that I genuinely wanted to be with them at any cost. But I couldn’t. The sorry is too little word to say anything about my guilty and moral and social crime.
One of them being Lakshmi, my closest friend and a supporter of the most difficult phase of life when I was in search of first job at any cost. She is my classmate and still a big mental support which helps me carry on in professional life with solace. Her beloved father had been suffering from cancer for a few months. She would tell me almost on routine basis how she was undergoing mental agony but could not share with mother. She wanted to avoid giving shock to her sensitive mother. The father and Lakshmi had promised each other not to let the mother learn of this disease. Both would keep mum and put up a smiling face till the last few weeks were left and doctors informed the days were numbered.
I admire the control of Lakshi and express utter sorrow that despite entire family’s best efforts, her beloved Daddy left for heavenly abode.
She wanted to handover ‘green grass’, as the father wanted to drink its juice. He was told by someone it helps dramatically in cancer. But the problem was that the special grass was available in Delhi only and father was hospitalized in Chennai. Despite best efforts to coordinate with each other , Lakshmi and me could not meet each other despite living in the same city. Whenever I would have time to meet her, she couldn’t and vice-versa.
Finally, she left for Chennai at the desperate call from her sister to be with her father for the last time.
For not being able to be of any use to her will remain lifetime guilt in my conscience.
The other girl is Gayatri, a former colleague at ANI. Though we never worked in one section, as she belonged to electronic media and me, print media, but our vibes made it sure that we were like-minded. I remember she even left her job at ANI for her mother’s health four years ago. She had tears in eyes and couldn’t control them on her last day at ANI, as she left for Kolkata to be with her ailing mother.
We met after four years on roadside. She had joined Live India channel. Both of us were thrilled to meet once again. We shared a good time talking like school kids reuniting after a long phase of life. But then we would talk over phone and share laughter. He mother had carried on with the disease all this years somehow. So I never doubted she would be visiting the hospital for the last time. Last October (2009), Gayatri told me he mother was again hospitalized. I thought it was routine.
Later she informed she was in ICCU. I felt worried for Aunty but avoided visiting her in hospital. She said the mother was recuperating gradually and been shifted to the ward. But she added that the mother was not keeping on well still. I didn’t feel the seriousness of the statement. I hoped she would be alright again and prayed in my heart for her earliest recovery. The office routine kept me heavily occupied in the meantime and I just couldn’t call Gayatri for a long time.
Once I called her up and she said she remains on night or day duty at hospital for her mother, as she required somebody to be with her. It worried me and I avoided calling her up lest I should disturb her at an odd hour of the day. She could be relaxing at home after the night duty or just been attending her darling mother by her bed side. I avoided calling, hence.
But one day, when I did to ask about aunty…I was shocked. Gayatri said: “Mummy to Guzar gayi”.
The answer left me inexplicable to utter any more word. I felt as if her whole world had come to an end. It was because I knew she valued her mother the most and had literally devoted her entire young life for her well-being. The grief overwhelmed me. I just put down the phone and left the room in silence. I narrated that to my mother. She also felt pained to hear that news.
But inside my heart, the guilt of not been able to be with her, hurt me the most. Till date, I am ashamed of my ‘busy’ routine.
The SMS wedding
Amit Tyagi and Ruchi Shrimali……..a unique couple I know.
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